Well, it's come to this...

... the last of the Shakers.

Miss Murderous

So, apparently, the Miss Universe contest has a section in which the lubbly beauties dress up in their national costumes. It's great for the gals. They get to show off their deepest patriotic feelings and share a small part of their traditional culture with the rest of the world.

This type of thing:



Miss Japan thought long and hard about her garb. The unrivalled elegance of the kimono would almost certainly have gone down well with the judges. Somehow, though, none of the outfits Kurara Chibana tried on had that extra something she was reaching for.

After careful consideration, she opted for the murderous red ninja costume that so typified the Japanese woman of yesteryear. As No-Sword memorably puts it: "Miss Japan went in the traditional garb of the stiletto-heeled red ninja, reflecting Japan's past as a largely agricultural nation of peaceful farmers and ruthless, garishly-dressed assassins. I suppose it has a certain quaint charm." Those high-heels must have been a bind when they were sneaking through the paddy fields.

Japanese children's TV is fantastic

More specifically, the stuff on NHK 3, the rough equivalent of BBC 2, is fab.

G. loves it, but I'm finding that it is becoming my favourite goggle too. Perhaps I'm losing my marbles (more on marbles below). Titles like Nihongo de Asobou, Pitagora Suichi, Karada de Asobou, and Zenmai Samurai all have really high production values. Dry humour, surrealism, slapstick and originality abounds.

Most of the examples I can find on the web are of Pitagora Suichi. The "pitagora" means "Pythagoras" and it has a broad science/technology focus.

Two dances, Arugorizumu Koushin and Arugorizumu Taisou, are repeated every day. The two comedians who do them pull in various adults to add a bit of variation. Here, we have the bus attendants and the gym instructors doing the Arugorizumu Taisou and the Chinese chefs doing the Arugorizumu Koushin. （Arugorizumu means Algorithm, by the way).

Another favourite is the title sequence. Almost everyday they have a new mechanism, using lots of marbles and ingenuity: 1,2,3,4,5,6.

It is a pity I can't find much on the web to give a flavour of some of the other titles. We are not just talking funny gimmicks but, rather, really well thought out children's programming. Nihongo de Asobou is particularly striking, using classic poetry, traditional drama and sayings to pursue its Japanese language theme. Here are a couple of examples of dances from the program - 1, 2 - but it is the less dramatic features playing with language and poetry that really make the programme. These closing title sequences - 1, 2 - could be accused of being over-kawaii (cute) but I like them.

After Auschwitz

So what happened to the few surviving Polish Jews after the Nazis had left?

Dark Tater and Obi Wan Cannoli

Not long ago in a supermarket not so far away...



(On a similar theme, but using a different technique, the McDonald's video game. And another right-on piece of web persuasion. It is old but already a classic of this growing genre. To digress even further, there is also a hell of a lot of Star Wars themed parody on the web. Eg. 1, 2, 3.)

Globalisation

One of the things I have been pulling my hair out about since I came to Japan is whether G. will grow up speaking English or Japanese or both.

Yesterday, he decided to start speaking Spanish!

His cousin K-chan - who has just come over to Japan after spending the early part of his life in Mexico - had been using "darme, darme" (which I understand to mean "give me, give me") to get stuff. So, needs must, G. adopted the local vernacular.

A truth that is stranger than fiction

The piglet squid.

ZZ blows his top, G mows his mom and pop

Zinedine Zidane said of his butt to ribcage of Marco Materazzi in the World Cup final:

It was an act that was not pardonable. I apologise to all the children who might have seen it. I always tell children that they should avoid doing such things.

I wasn't aware that my one and a half year-old son had seen the final until he performed a very similar Cardiac Plexus butt on my wife a couple of minutes ago. Zidane should be ashamed.

By the by, G. combines a number of fighting techniques in his mixed martial arts style. Grappling is his real strong point, with ear grabbing and hair pulling techniques typically used to achieve his favourite sitting on the head and twisting the nose hold. However, as the Zi-butt showed, his influences are various.

He is also about as eclectic as a lyrebird in his copying of the sounds around him at the moment, but that is another story.

This is just to say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for next Monday's breakfast

Don't worry
they were wrinkly,
and one had a bit of mould
on it.

after the William Carlos Williams poem

Don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are poultry gender checkers...

The Guardian playing its role perfectly: "Spain's coach Luis Aragonés last night refused to apologise before this evening's second-round game against France in Hanover for racially abusing Thierry Henry in 2004, insisting rather bafflingly that he has "black, Gypsy and Japanese friends, including one whose job is to determine the sex of poultry".

Ofuro pranks

This site is degenerating into one of those low rent out-take shows.

Seeing how things are going...

Thought it would be best to get the England barbeque in quickly before England are chucked out on their ears from the World Cup. Thanks to Ma and Pa for the nationalist regalia birthday pressie. Our back garden made an odd sight. More Tooting Bec than Hiratsuka, Japan.

Perhaps my most unrelaxing drink

When God was installing the courage batteries he must have accidentally picked up a couple flat ones when he came to me.

A. and I had a romantic evening in Tokyo on Wednesday. Her Mum and Dad had given us a night off from the nappy changing and nose twisting as my birthday pressie. Unfortunately, the Turkish restaurant we had booked, called Marumara, turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. The food was OK, though not overly plentiful, but the service was appalling. The wine we ordered never arrived and by 9pm it became apparent that our visions of a relaxed evening supping the red stuff and talking nonsense were going awry (despite a generous supply of nonsense from my side of the table).

Anyway, the evening needed saving, so I hit on the bright idea of going to a bar with a really good view of Tokyo and having a couple of beers. The guidebook had a list of such establishments and we decided (after, let's admit it, a bit of a barney about my disappointment with Marumara) to go to Hibiki, a bar in Shiodome.



Well, not so much in Shiodome, as perched above it. After a great ride through the heart of Tokyo's newest skyscraper district on the Yurikamome or "swinging seagull", Tokyo's much more spectacular equivalent of London's Docklands Light Railway, it started to dawn on me that to get this spectacular view I was going to have to ascend 46 floors. That is a lot. I discovered there was a special express lift to get you up there and that they had kindly put it one the side of the building ... with glass sides. I had to stand with my back to the sensational view, my eyes fixed on the floor counter, as we zoomed heavenwards. A. seemed equally nervous. Once in Hibiki, we were led to our table: one of the best in the house, knees touching the glass, the sheer drop half a centimetre away. I ordered a beer, fixed a smile and, with a stiff neck, trained my eyes on the horizon. It was at this point that the interesting question about what exactly would happen if there was an earthquake occurred.



My batteries must not have been completely flat because I managed to bolt a second beer down a dry throat. By the time I was back at ground level, I was ecstatic. Hibiki's vertigo torture had turned around the evening. It will now be a fixture on my Tokyo tour for visitors. I might stay at the bottom though, if you don't mind.

(One symptom of my panic up there was that my photos were very blurred,
so I nicked some other people's pictures of the same views. )