Saturday, January 01, 2000

A little fictional game

I thought it might be fun to play with this silly idea on this blog. For once, I opened one of those scam emails which try to lure people into advance fee frauds. I wondered what it would be like if, 84 Charing Cross Road Style, someone replied and established an odd correspondence with the scammer. I will start with the first letter and update with replies as time allows. The first letter is loosely based on the scam email I received but I changed it because I did not want to trangress on the creative rights of my correspondent, did I !?

PS. ON SECOND THOUGHTS I THINK I MAY LEAVE THIS LITTLE GAME ON THE SHELF FOR NOW. I HAVE PLENTY OF REAL WORK TO DO AND THIS WAS HIGHLY LIKELY TO HAVE WORKED AS A GOOD EXCUSE NOT TO GET ON WITH IT. THE IDEA WAS TO HAVE HAD AN INITIAL CORRESPONDENCE BASED ON THE SCAM APPROACH. A FAILURE OF THE SCAM APPROACH BECAUSE OF THE RECTITUDE AND FINANCIAL INNOCENCE OF MRS BLAKE, IN WHICH TIME MRS BLAKE WOULD HAVE SHARED REAL PERSONAL HISTORY THAT IN SOME WAY PULLS ON THE SCAMMER. THE ATTEMPTED WITHDRAWAL OF THE SCAMMER. A CRISIS IN WHICH MRS BLAKE IS TOLD BY HER SON THAT IT IS A SCAM. A POST SCAM CORRESPONDENCE IN WHICH THEY SHARE THE REALITIES OF THEIR LIVES, AND WE BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFICULTY AND BRUTALITY OF THE LIFE OF THE SCAMMER, AND PERHAPS A MEETING AFTER MANY YEARS. ANYWAY, THE GAME IS ON THE SHELF AND I CAN STOP WRITING DESPERATELY IN CAPITALS.

The Nigerian Letter


From: Dr. Charles Chamoun,

Greetings to you, with warm heart I offer my friendship and heartfelt regards. I hope this mail greets you in good time. We have not met personally or had any dealings so this contact may seem odd or surprising to you but I humbly ask that you give due consideration to my important proposal and the benefit it may be to both of us.

I duly deeply apologize for trangressing on your private time, and if this contact is not acceptable to you I apologise more sincerely. I propose to you as one gentleman of integrity and reputation to another of reputation a most serious scheme.

First, I believe it is appropriate to introduce myself formally to you. My name is Dr Charles Chamoun, a close friend and confidant of the late and dearly loved Pierre Amine Gemayel, the Christian leader who was assasinated by three to four gunmen opened fired at close range on my good friend with five different types of silenced automatic weapons, all using 9 mm bullets, after ramming his car from the front in the Jdeideh suburb of Beirut with a Honda CRV with tinted windows that they were driving on Tuesday 21 november 2006. My friend was being driving in his car by his driver,when the gun men attacked and gunned him down.

Before my boss was finally assasinated he entrusted a large number of monies in my trusted care, which was only known by myself and him for the preparation of the next election which was kept with a secret security firm at the neighbouring district of Jordan for safe keeping. He allowed one of his friends in the person of Mr. Gibril Martins as the the depositor and an foreign business associate was declared the beneficiary of the deposited consignment. The safety deposit, which is a treasured family heirloom, is stocked full with hard money.

I have decided to have this fund invested immediately in commercial and lucrative residential properties in foreign lands as well as various other profitable ventures that I as his close friend have in mind for the good of our cause, but have certain problems in leaving my country of current residence because of the current volatile and uncertain state in the world. We don't know what is going on and I am therefore hopeful that you propose to render me your most needed assistance in this regard.

If you agree to lend me your trusted hand, side by side with me in this most important endeavour, your role will be to act on my behalf as a trustee to our enterprise and to receive the safety deposit containing the funds from the Security firm. Though I believe this transaction will be based on friendship and trust, I will offer you 2% of the funds as a token of Mr Geymayel's great gratitude and 7% for any the expenses that may pop up in the course of this transaction both here and from your end. I thank you in advance for your stalwart support to our great enterprise and I look forward to a long lasting friendship relationship with you.

As you will obviously know and understand, due to alien monitoring of the respected leadership of our small country, even far beyond our borders, it is not safe to communicate with me via phone on this most secret of matters. For this very same reason I have fled to Africa from my beloved home country, leaving no trace of my person because I was cowardly attacked by some unknown gun men in a Honda CRV with tinted after that infamous incident of my friend and companion. I lost everything but my hope in fellow humanity like yourself. Whether or not you are interested in assisting our endeavour, be kind and tell me your beliefs on these important matters, as this will enable me make alternative plans in the event of a non-interest from you, my friend.

Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Charles Chamoun.

---

The Stump,
Woodlands Drive,
Walton on Thames,
Surrey,
KT12 IBE.

10 February, 2007.

Dear Dr. Chamoun,

Thank you for your letter. I was very sad to read about Mr Gemayal. I had seen his death in the newspapers over here. My husband Clive was actually stationed in Palestine after the war. That was before we were married but I always look out for the Middle East news. Too often it seems to be very sad. I am sure I can`t imagine how difficult your lives are.

I must confesss your letter did strike me as a little out of the ordinary but then I have never lived in the thick of events as you do. I should put you right on one point, however. You seem to be under the impression that I am a man. You are not the first. Frances sometimes puts people on the wrong track. It is Mrs Frances Blake. I am not sure why you decided of me for the banking matter. I don`t think I am really your person for that sort of thing. As I say, I have the greatest of sympathy for Mr Gemayal`s supporters. I actually proposed to the vicar at the time that we should mention it in our service, as fellow Christians, but the Rev. White wanted to talk about "fair trade". It is a great enthusiasm of his. Any help I can give, please ask, but, as I say, I am sure you would be better to engage a professional on the bank transaction.

I have used your "Dr.", although you seem to have dropped it when signing off. Are you a medical doctor? My son Graham obtained a doctorate at Loughborough in Aeronautical Engineering but he doesn`t use the "Dr." except at work. You were lucky to catch me with your "email". I don`t really like to use it but Graham was sending me something to do with a remittance, so I was looking at it today. Thank you again for your most interesting letter. I will look at my "email" for your reply.

Yours,
Frances Blake

(Originally posted on 08/03/07 and moved here because obstructing the front page)

1 comment:

jessica said...

Yeah ,I know everyday thousands of people are duped through such fraud mails....anyways, the best thing to do is to stay cautious and keep these pretentious wellwishers at bay. Do drop by my blog for some fun time.